i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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