just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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