We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
