Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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