I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
