He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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