Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
