I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
