why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
