try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
All I want is dick and wine.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
