Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
