Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
