I bet he comes in French.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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