do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
