I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
