They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
