that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This is my gift to your gina
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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