sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
