She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Pants are for mortals
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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