My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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