we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
