I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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