i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
