make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize