Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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