the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
