So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
