We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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