Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
