singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
