redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
