ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
