you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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