I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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