ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
And the cops told us we were all naked.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
