Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
