he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
