One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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