Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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