This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so let's talk penis.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
