Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
