I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
