They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
