This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
