I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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