They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
