so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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