What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
