oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
