I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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