you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
