Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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