I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
