Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
