I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
