Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
