She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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