i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
