VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
