please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Even my vagina gasped.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
