bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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