ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize