i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
