at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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