we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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