So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
